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MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY
True events of a child growing up with a un-known medical issues.
This is a True Story & Events that took place in the USA State of Maine.
She lived through and walked away from the worst accidents which added to her unknown medical trauma and into the hands of the worst doctor & best surgeons.
With stents, she was rebuilt from the IVC VEIN down to both legs.
It’s unlikely there’s another patient out there with this much damage!
I hope you enjoy my story and thank you!
There’s a reason for everything!
If someone out there can learn from my story, as you read, nobody wanted to listen whether they didn’t understand, didn’t take the time or simply they were freaked out about me being alive.
I don’t have anyone helping me correct my spelling or my writing - this is my story!
SHE JUST A KID
chapter 1
Finding a place that disappeared to
She used all her strength, taking her lower lumps and swung them up high, as she took her arms and pushed down.
She was up as high as she could go as she Leaped from the swing, closing her eyes and feeling the wind take her hair.
For a moment she was free as she landed on her feet.
She swung around, looking at the swing going back-and-forth. It was time to go home.
Owls head Maine is a beautiful small town with ocean views around it. A Lighthouse, a small country store many beaches that look out at the beautiful oceans, islands and mountains.
The house that I grew up in, was at the end of the small airport runway.
The other end, the beginning of my road, was the schoolhouse. It held grades first through six.
I had a very isolated life. From birth to sixth grade was very hard. I was a very sick child and on top of it, I was tortured by my three brothers.
This is where it all started, you can call them angels on earth. The school lunch ladies, the office lady and a handful of teachers protect me. They kept me at their hip. I didn’t go to school like other kids did, and when I was there, I was either placed in the kitchen to help or the office or sometimes they would just set me in the cafeteria, that’s where I spent my school days if I was there!
We were very poor at first till the late 60’s. That when thing pick up in the business
that my father had. He was a Fisherman and my mom worked in a factory. The money came in by the time I was in seventh grade.
I had three older brothers and only a year betten all of use.
I was last to be born. I was fine till I developed a high fever at a few weeks old. My
Mother rust me to the hospital where they placed me in a closet that had a window open.
They had me in a crib with only a diaper on with the window open. I was born February
in 1962 and it was a very cold winter. My mom said after a week being there, she took me out and brought me back home.
As I said, it started at birth with high fevers and then there was an accident from what I’m told, I question it but what was said is, I was 12 months old just learning to walk and was down the road at neighbors and I walked in front of the swingset and it was a metal swingset.
It cut my face from my nose to my ear into my checkborn and it threw me up in the air.
I believe this is when “traumatic mutism“ happen to me!
It left me not able to talk. I was scared of strangers and just didn’t want to communicate.
My mother tried to put me in kindergarten and I was sent to a speech Therapist and I head underneath the desk and would not come out. I still remember it today. It was a man it was a school room and it was so cold looking all new environment.
I don’t know how I got through kindergarten.
Then came first grade at owls head center school just up the road from where I lived.
This time a new speech therapist. It was the most amazing lady she had a camper. She was so cool. She was amazing.
Miss Tracy she was probably 250 pounds of just pure goodness she tried everything to get me to talk. She ended up using sign language. She worked with me everyday, even through the summer. She would take her camper and I would walk up to the school And she would teach me sign language.
When I got everything done, cleaning the house, I did exactly what I wanted. I can’t imagine a little girl, fifth & six grade doing the things I did getting on my bike going around the neighborhood.
On the other side of the road of our home, there was a gravel pit and there was a dirt road where I would ride my bike. The family that lived down there had a son that was a little older than my older brother and the family had a Gravel business with dump trucks and bulldozers. The son was in a motorcycle gang. It was a well known motorcycle gang like the HELL ANGELS in California, this group was known as THE NSKK!
I was always protected, and everybody knew not to bother the little girl on the bike!
I also would ride my bike up to Rockland to the store and bought a candy bars and ride back home as fast as I could.
As we got older so did the toys! We had dirt bikes, which I loved and horse back riding. We water skied and we all loved to swim!
This happen to me at the end of six grade and I was on the back of a horse with a friend. We were galloping through the hayfield when the horse we were riding fell and he landed on my ankle and smashed it. I try to walk on it and couldn’t and the girls mother finally told my mother that I needed to go to the doctors. The ankle is crushed and they put a cast on it when that was taken off. It’s still didn’t work. I could not walk so they another cast on me when that was taken off. I was still having a hard time.
They wanted to go in and re-break my ankle and I said no way so I dealt with it! I’ll be walking along in the next thing I’ll be on my face. The ankle would just give out from underneath me that lasted for about 10 years and for whatever reason it came out of it.
This was another thing that happened in sixth grade. I just found out my best friend was moving away! This meant I was going to go into seventh grade by myself. This is a new school in a small city called Rockland Maine.
Then on top of that, I sat down and talked to Miss Tracy my speech teacher, she told me, you need this teaching all the way up through to high school and I looked at her and said, I need to go on my own. I gave her a hug and said goodbye to the most beautiful soul that has ever been put on this earth!
I grew up being called baby talk or Scarface. From the adults, they would say, she would’ve been so beautiful! That stuck with me more than anything the kids would say. I could care less about being picked on, but hearing from strangers as a little girl standing there in front of them saying, she would have been so beautiful, it left me like I was not allowed to show my face. I was not able to look people in the eyes. I kept my head down for years. I felt so ugly.
The kids could call me anything they wanted because I had the most love anyone could ever have, the cafeteria ladies, the office lady, and a handful of teachers and my speech therapist!
Those years, from birth through six grade, I grow up with asthma and bronchitis. I remember once being in the backseat of the car coughing so bad that my mother pulled over, I thought I was going to die right then, she shook me. I came out of it and we headed home.
Chapter 2
Junior high school
I woke up, threw the covers off and got up! Asking myself, how am I going to do this! I’ve never had so much dread in my life!
I don’t want to go to this new school.
I made myself eat breakfast and walked up the road to waited for the school bus.
Once I got on the school bus, I looked around, I didn’t see anyone I know!
Most kids the first day the parents take them to school. They pick up their friends and here I am, by-my-self
So there I sit on the school bus as it pulled into the school. There was a few kids ahead of me and I was in the middle, as I was taking the steps off the school bus walking in back of the school like everybody else was doing. I had no idea where to go then all the sudden in the corner of my eye this big girl was going to punch me.
I managed to block her punch. My fist went up and into her nose. I didn’t stop punching. The next punch threw her to the ground and I never stopped punching! All remember is her starting to scream, and I was being pulled off her.
She was so big and I was tiny girl. I knew if I stopped she would just beat the crap out of me. I knew I had to keep hitting her until she was down.
They pulled me into the office and I sat there and listened to everybody gossiping saying and pointing at me, “that girl beat the other one up!
I placed my hands on my head. My brain is screaming. How can this happen to me! Why me! Why does this stuff happen to me! It’s so unfair.
After quite some time, they released me and told me to get to the class that I was assigned to! It was self-defense and I protected myself!
I don’t see how it could get any worse but it did!
I think it was like my third day in 7th grade. I just walked into a new classroom and sat down. Teacher called out our names and it came to me and I said, with my hand up, Tina Marriner the teachers face started getting red. He started shaking and he started yelling. Do you have a brother Steve? I said yes he pointed to the door and he said you get out! Don’t you ever step in my classroom again!
I said what am I supposed to do? He says get to the office you tell them I don’t want you ever in my room so there I went in the office again.
I looked back and I have no idea how I made it through this but the next two weeks were pure hell!
In grade school, I didn’t get to go to school like everybody else. I knew my ABC’s. I knew how to count and know a little bit of math, but that was it. I was so lost.
So there I was again pulled into the office. This man came up to me, and said, Tina we’re going to put you in a special class for the next two years. The teacher name is Mr. Allen. There was a few other students like me.
So it finally begun, a good teacher I get to finally learn!
Mr. Allen was so wonderful. It was so hard on all of us.
Mr. Allen focus on reading so each one of us had the same book and we read a paragraph at a time.
Like I say there’s probably maybe 6 of us and I’m sure we were all thinking the same thing hoping to get the shortest paragraph to read! It didn’t take me no time at all I just needed the right person, and this teacher was the right person for all of us!
The next thing that happened to me was my parents splitting up. I was called to the office and said I had to wait there because my mother was going to pick me up after school. She told me that she left my father and we was going to go live in my grandmother’s house which was left to my mother when she passed away.
I woke up the next morning, looked at my mom and said, how am I supposed to get to school? She said you got to walk.
It was a long walk 2 miles at least maybe more. I got to school asked around if there’s a way for me to get home and I found a bus that would drop me off somewhat close to the house.
I don’t quite remember how long we ended up living in that house that was not really livable. It was so cold and outdated. It was a very old house that set right in the heart of Rockland Maine on the busiest road, you could almost touch the cars as they went by!
This is when my brother Dale helped my mom the one that always thought he was a hero! In my mom’s eyes, mom loved him and he did no wrong. It was always the fault or whoever he was with and if he got a girl pregnant, it was someone else’s baby.
My brother had a friend named Teddy and a sister named Terry. We both hung out with them. I had a crush on Teddy, but life was so chaos and I was so young and he ended up dying and his death was tragedy. His sister also passed away very young!
I do remember a few classes in eighth grade. Math was very easy for me and I got straight A’s. I was so proud of myself.
That didn’t last long. One day the math teacher told me to go to the board with the chalk and he said, please repeat these numbers on the board as I say them.
There was three separate big boards. It took a long time, I had to write all these numbers From top to bottom. We moved to the second one, wrote numbers top to bottom and then the last board, then asked me to sit down.
The teacher then look at the class and he asked the class what is wrong with the numbers on the board?
Everything was backwards, not only backwards, they were upside down.
I didn’t have time to think. I just wrote it, as my brain heard the information coming in.
Everybody started laughing at me, but I was used to being picked on. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I found out when I got older. It was dyslexia. It was a really bad case of dyslexia and that’s why everything was so blur when I try to read a book the words are all messed up. In fact they have a school in the United States just for dyslexia. It’s not just simply doing something backwards. This Kind of dyslexia, when you open up a book in the words are all moving around.
Once I was asked to tell a story and write it down in three paragraphs. I wasn’t given much time so my brain had just write it down as fast as I could do it and what happened was the last paragraph was the first paragraph and so on! The story came out backwards.
Then came spelling class with Mr. Gundy. I really tried hard to study. I just couldn’t do it, so I found a way to cheat every spelling test, I would copy the words on a piece of paper back of my hand or my arm.
Then I was caught with a piece of paper underneath my desk that was all coded for that week spelling test.
Mr. Gundy the teacher, took it home that night.
The next class he handed out copies of my cheat paper to all the kids. He said I want everyone to see if they can figure it out. It took him a long time to try to figure out how I did it and he asked me, if you put that much work into it, why can’t you just study your words? I said I try it just doesn’t work, my brain won’t remember them!
He did give me A for that week spelling test.
We even became friends later on in life. He always remembered me and I will him.
My parents ended up getting back together and I graduated from junior high school and was going to enter ninth grade. Another new school, High School.
I did have a few friends and a couple of close friends, we hung out together and one of them, it was weird cause we end up finding out that her older brother and my mother dated “is that weird or what”!
You see her mother gave birth every 10 years. She had four children 10 years apart. Her oldest brother and my mother dated when they were in high school together.
that summer after eighth grade before entering high school, my house was becoming quite a party house.
My little town in Owl’s Head that I lived in was all boys! It was all about parties drinking drugs, (not me).
One of the parties, the house down the road, the parents was wealthy and they were out of town. They had a swimming pool behind their house. This was a huge party and they drove a car in the swimming pool.
A few weeks later there was a big party at my house. I was with my parents up to camp. We had the station wagon. My father left his jeep pick up at home .
When we got home, there was my father’s pick-up in the pond! The place was chaos and the stories just gets worse from there.
Me and my two girlfriends, we would just go and see who house was quieter and that’s where we would stay. We didn’t really stay at my house much it was that bad.
The brother Steve, that was ahead of me, like I stated the beginning of the story he was going around, wanting to kill people. He was very dangerous.
My other brother Dale, above him, he was out stealing all the time. That’s all he did was steel breaking houses. I don’t believe he did drugs, all he did was drink.
My older brother Jake he just had a new girl every week. He had his own lobster boat.
Remembering back, how it happened and all that was wrong with my oldest brother was with my dad
Jake only wanted to work the afternoons. He didn’t want to work at 4 o’clock in the morning like my father. Jake smoke cigarettes and drink, but like I say his life was all about girls and he had the most beautiful girls, a new one every week.
Looking back I don’t think Jake was bad! My father just was unhappy with him. I remember one time he got beaten up so bad for smoking because he got kicked out of school. My father took him behind the house down to the barn and beat the crap out of him. Then my mother took him and shaved off his beautiful hair!
CHAPTER 3
Three Brothers
By fourth and fifth grade, I learned to do all the dishes, wash the floors by hand, do everybody's laundry, clean the bathroom! I tried to get everything done so I could be outdoors!
I would hide underneath my big rocking horse with a blanket over it, my Barbie dolls, and all my toy horses, that was my make believe world.
Then about fifth grade, I learned about music. My older brother started a record collection so I outgrow my rocking horse, put on earphones on and listen to music. It brought me to a whole new place, a good place!
I never knew I was beautiful. The scar on my face was so bad, so deep that you could count the needle holes from where they sewed my face back together, but it did leave a scar that had character. It drew attention every day of my life if I was out in the public. It always the same, people would say, oh, that is too bad, she would’ve been so beautiful.
The cut itself would turn bright red. Nothing else, just the cut, when I didn’t feel good! My mother says watch out for Tina because if her scar is red, she doesn’t feel good.
My brothers, well it was like this, this is how I remembered it! I was pushed around and hit and I cried like a baby. Then the second time I pushed back and they said that’s right that’s how you do it! The third time I never cried ever again I punched and I ran. I learned to run so fast I had to outrun them! This part of my life is a blessing. Wow, did I learn how to fight and I was strong and I was never afraid of anything.
This played such a role and what was to come in my life and if I didn’t have this, I would not be here today!
One example of what my brother did just before we were to go up to camp, A log cabin that my father bought on the lake my brothers decided to tie me to a tree. They used so much rope that you couldn’t even see where I was, I wasn’t that big so it didn’t take that much rope to cover me up. My parents got all packed up in the station wagon. They all went to leave, and my father looked around and said where’s Tina?
My brothers were laughing. My father got mad, demanded where I was, and they pointed to the tree. There I was all covered up from the bottom of the tree to weigh above my head. It took my father a long time to get me untied and unraveled that we could not go to camp. My father was mad!
They always held me down under the water till I was almost dead from drowning. They would put pillows over my face till I cannot breathe until I would almost pass out. They would punch me so hard and the gut that I’d be on my hands and knees this was every day until they grew up and found other things to do!
Finally I was left alone.
The brother Steve, above me in age ended up with schizophrenia and paranoia when he was going through puberty. This is the two combinations of mental conditions that you hear people mass murdering. I remember clearly as his disease took him over. It was like the devil inside of him. Stuff was coming out of his mouth words like where did you learn this stuff? He never watched TV. He didn’t read books it was a pure devil himself living in my brothers body!
He was so adorable, handsome and smart, and the disease just took him away! I had to either stay someplace else or carry a bat with me so he wouldn’t kill me. At the time, his condition was blamed on drugs.
One night we were sitting around the living room. He snuck in the house through the door with a knife, and my father caught it at the corner of his eye, he was about to stab my brother to death. He ended up in state custody where they put him in a mental facility!
Dale, next brother up always tries to be a hero. He always tried to fix things. He always tried to take care of stuff. He had high energy. He was different from the rest of us. He looked like my mother while the rest of us looked just like my father. He was born with greed, even at a young age. He knew he wanted everything my parents had. He ended up in prison for almost killing a guy for three years. He did come home, straighten himself out and he a very hard worker. He’s like the Scrooge, “the Christmas show” you see on TV. He lives his life, looking around to see what he can take from others.
Jake, oldest brother just passed away. He was so handsome. He was the most popular boy in school. He had it the hardest. I believe no matter what he did he could not make my father happy and I think it ate him up inside. He ended up drinking and smoking his whole life. He became a hermit. He was loved by many people. I think his story is really sad.
My brothers weren’t killers, they just weren't taught. My parents did the best that they knew. I believe my mother had a Mental illness and my father knew it. They had a lot of love between them right up till I was around 13 years old. My father worked all the time, he had to! Feeding all our hungry months and the cost of just having a big family.
My father, He was there for me when he could but wasn’t home enough to fix everything. He was very self-centered and old-fashioned. I felt bad for my mom, she worked very hard and there were times my father was just downright mean to her!
As they say, there's another side of the coin and for me, I got to learn everything the boys had to learn. Trap building, painting of boats, buoys and everything that needs to be painted. Rope had to be untangled and rolled up. Watching how to work on motors to running the boats. The leaning was endless.
As a family, we did a lot of work on the ocean. We all had to work hard we team up and build traps. We have to make cement and cement the inside areas of the traps so it weights the trap down when they threw them overboard into the ocean, it would sink.
There was rope work. We would take rope from one end of the road and untangle it to the other end of the road and then roll it up.
Painting & cleaning & painting bouts was year round work. Bouts are flotation device that is placed on the fishing line to keep the rope from syncing and the other end of the rope would be a lobster trap. These traps would catch lobsters, crabs, and sometimes fish.
This is what is wrong with our world today. Kids don’t know how to make believe, do house work, help work on parents cars or building things. There is no more farms to help in the summer time.
There was fun things to do. It wasn’t all work. We had dirt bikes. There was a lot of neighbors that had horses we had Halloween parties skate parties.
My favorite thing to do, was dirtbike! We had this little purple one, it didn’t have to be shifted. We had all the roads we wanted to ride dirtbike on and then as I grew up, I use my brothers. Yamaha 125 on off-road, we used to go everywhere.
I love horses. I don’t think there’s been a time in my life. I didn’t dream of owning Horse. There was one time after we got done working we went horseback riding. I was riding with my friends on her horse. I was in sixth grade. The horse was galloping in the field and went into a hole and fell over and on top of me and crushed my leg and my ankle.
I went through the whole ordeal having a cast put on. When I finally got on crutches, I could go back to school which I had to walk up the road on crutches to get to school on the way home the house mext to mine had this huge German shepherd dog on this big chain he was so mean well on this day he must’ve broke his chain and there he stood looking at me with his teeth showing I frozed, walked my way backwards and thank God he stayed. I had to walk back up the road and down the other road and out through the woods to get home that day on crutches. I told my parents when they go home and the last house down was the sheriff that lived there he went right up and shot the dog. He had kids too.
The brother Steve, that was ahead of me, like I stated the beginning of the story he was going around, wanting to kill people. He was very dangerous.
My other brother Dale, above him, he was out stealing all the time. That’s all he did was steel breaking houses. I don’t believe he did drugs, all he did was drink.
My older brother Jake he just had a new girl every week. He had his own lobster boat.
Remembering back, how it happened and all that was wrong with my oldest brother was with my dad
Jake only wanted to work the afternoons. He didn’t want to work at 4 o’clock in the morning like my father. Jake smoke cigarettes and drink, but like I say his life was all about girls and he had the most beautiful girls, a new one every week.
Looking back I don’t think Jake was bad! My father just was unhappy with him. I remember one time he got beaten up so bad for smoking because he got kicked out of school. My father took him behind the house down to the barn and beat the crap out of him. Then my mother took him and shaved off his beautiful hair!
Chapter 4
High school
The summer before entering high school, was a fun time for me. I got to go places with my brother’s girlfriends, which was really neat for me being 15!
I was mature for my age! I just fit in with the older kids! I got to go parties and places that you just wouldn’t imagine a 15-year-old going too!
As long as I had the house work taken care, it didn’t matter what I did, I would leave a note on the table what I was doing, that’s all that mattered!
School was not important. I was told I would graduate and get married and he will take care of me.
This was my time to explore boundaries.
I was seeing how other families actually lived! I would look at my own life and knew, there was something wrong with it.
As I was rushing around to clean house so I could get out of there. My mother was sitting watching tv, I don’t recall the exact words, but it was enough to wake me up that I was programmed! What she said was so wrong to say to a daughter as she sat there watching TV, “proud that she didn’t have to do housework”!
I did get paid $10 a week so I guess I was not a slave in her eyes!
Just before high school was to start, I was on the passenger side of my girlfriend‘s car and she was driving. We decided to go around the circle in my small town. I don’t know why she was driving so fast but she got into the loose gravel lost control, her foot hit the paddle and spun us around. She flew like an angel picked her up and placed her head on the back seat and her legs dangling on the front seat I looked and saw the tree coming. It was a long stretch by the time the car was spin side-ways and I was looking right straight at the oak tree. I knew it was coming right at my side of my door.
It was slow motion, the whole thing! If it wasn’t for that angel lifting my friend out of the driver seat and laid her just so, that her head rested on top of the backseat, and her legs rested on the front seat! As I think about this today, there’s no way that could’ve happened unless the angel placed her there.
She definitely would’ve been killed and there wouldn’t have been enough room for me in the front!
The noise, the screeching, the bang the crash and then the smoke! It will always remain in my head! All in slow motion!
I remember screaming for Jesus!
My body wrapped around the oak tree and the engine came up on my left side. I was trapped!
The car was starting to smoke. It’s starting to catch on fire and the next thing I knew is hollering from people. I heard voices. I heard a man say get Tina and the other guy says I got to get DD out first!
Oh my God it was my brother and his best friend and then I heard some more yelling from people saying the car is going to catch on fire. It was my aunt and uncle I could not believe it my brother and his best friend and my aunt and uncle!
My brother, then realize I was trapped in the car in it was smoking!
He was screaming, I can’t get her out, she’s stuck! He tried pulling, turning my body and pulled again.
I yelled at him, “pull me out”!
We were both wondering if my legs would still be attached!
It took a lot of force to get me out!
He was physically fit, tall and very strong and handsome!
He always thought of himself as a hero, and he was “he will always be my hero that day”!
He pulled me out, put us in his truck and off we went to the hospital.
When I got there, I was put in the emergency room and the nurse was taking glass out of my mouth. She was talking to someone else and said oh my God she was screaming, and the glass was all over me even in my mouth.
I was never treated. I went from that room, wheeled me into another room, and my mother walked in took me, into her car and home I went.
That always stuck with me. I couldn’t figure out how I got from one room to the other and then released keep in mind, I think was only 14 years old and now looking back, my mother pulled me out of the emergency emergency room that day.
I never understood any of it. I remember my friends mother coming into the house asking if any medical bills need to be paid and my mom said no there is none. I never got to see her for the longest time.
I could not walk from the waist down I was completely black and blue more just black and swelling. The same leg that took a beating from the horseback accident! When my brother pulled me out it pulled my shoe off me tore up my pants. This leg was totally damaged.
My father asked to look at me and he shook his head at my mother and said she really needs to be look at.
She called Dr. Pain office who is the one that tended to my ankle on the horseback riding accident. We went into the office and he put a cast on me
All I know is my ankle was crushed!
I did complain of my back hurting so bad that it would put me on my hands and knees! I begging inside my brain for someone to help me!
So that meant no high school for a while the pain was unbearable, I was taught I could not show any pain because I had to do housework. I had to wobble around and do all the housework instead of school.
Someone would drop off my weekly homework and pick up the homework.
I had no idea how to do it, but I did my best.
I got the cast off my ankle and was allowed to go to freshman high school!
I missed the first quarter and half of school.
I started mingling again with my girlfriends and trying to have a teenager life.
I don’t remember the timing, but this guy asked me if I wanted to go with him and another couple. They had to do something out of town and I said I’ll go.
They were much older than me 10 years older, I was 15! I was the passenger of his car and on the way back, we was just entering a four-way intersection of this small city before that, I asked if we could go into the gas station of this intersection which we haven’t gotten there quite yet, so I could use the bathroom.
That was in my mind, cause I had to pee so bad and then all of a sudden there was all kinds of commotion horns and noise and a stolen vehicle was going over 100 miles an hour and hit us head on!
I remember my face going into the dash and the shifter of the car went into my chest as I lifted my body. I open the car door and ran to the gas station to go pee.
Remember, I am a fast runner. I open the bathroom door as I was turning around my pants was down and my butt was on the toilet.
Then the door open, (it’s only a 4’x4’ closet size toilet room off the side of the gas station)! There I was sitting on the toilet with the whole world, looking at me straight on!
Everybody at the intersection saw me, this little girl, opening the car door and running before the crash wasn’t even over with.
All I know is, I had a pee so bad! The first person to open the door was a man. He was at my knees, screaming to get ambulance. Blood was all over my face, and I looked up and every person that was in the intersection was standing outside the bathroom door - OMG what is happening to me who are they? My brain was so fogged, but oh my God it felt so good to pee!
I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I do remember that I did have crack, ribs, fractured jaw, and was sent home or again. My mother pulled me out.
The man that was driving 10 years older than me was going to become my future husband because he was approve by my family. They loved him more than me.
This parts of my life, didn’t seem real, because how can one person survive what I survived!
My mom said as long as you’re not in the hospital and if you can’t go to school, you are going to do the housework and have supper on the table!
My sophomore year 10th grade it’s kind of a blur! My lungs, my heart, my legs, my back my body was gone as I knew it. I was the fastest runner in school and now, I had to hide all the pain I was in! I could barely walk sometime I count’t even breathe, and my back hurts so bad.
Like I stated I was at my girlfriend’s house when it happened. It was like a knife going in my chest and as I said, I went home and I begged for help!
Just the medical part of the story has to be placed in a book by itself! This part of my life is so complicated. I could put it in three books. I could put the love life in a book the medical part and my personal life in a book.
I was only placed in the care of this wacky family physician, and he was whacked out. My mother didn’t care at this point. I was just something she just wanted to get rid of, but as long as I did housework, she didn’t care.
It got so bad once I just couldn’t move and I couldn’t breathe. I swear Angel taught me how to breathe. I laid there for about a week to a point where I couldn’t even go to the bathroom or eat. I asked my older brother if he could take me to the bathroom, he lifted me up and put me in his arms in my heart race so bad it scared him to death. He screamed at my mother to take me to the hospital.
I was in the emergency room and I heard my mother screaming at the doctor. He was accusing her of starving me to death.
I was placed in intensive care and given a few hours they said that you need to call Family and let them see me for the last time! My dad never came. my aunt and uncle did come see me.
I remember that night so clear as it was yesterday I looked down at my body. I heard a nurse hollering saw everybody running from the desk room and into my room like it was see-threw walls. Them working on me!
I felt so good. I looked down at my body and I did not want to go back. I’ve never felt so good in my whole life. I wasn’t hurting no more and I did not want to go back.
I was in the hospital I think about three months. all I knew is I had fluid around the heart and lungs!
They did so many test on me everyday, angiograms, CT scans MRI chest x-rays were every day blood gases, blood work
I was hooked up to morphine that my arms are so damaged they ruined the veins in my arms!
There’s so much damage it’s ruined me for life! I get accused of being a drug person on needles. They just lifted up my sleeves and accuse me of drugs and I’ve never been on drugs or do I drink!
This is a part of my life it’s like, “it’s not real”!
I was under the care of this wacky doctor.
I still had to do housework. Between all that having a boyfriend, I had to try to work, jobs supermarket the fish factory it wasn’t known at that time that I was walking around with blood clots in both lungs.
I miss all of junior high school and senior year was just one class enough so the school gave me a diploma!
As I said, this part of my life could be a book in itself is four years of ninth grade to 12th grade. There’s something definitely more in life than what we know here on earth.
I just wanted out of the house and the man, “the one in the car accident where I had a pee so bad” YUP it was a
Cinderella wedding!
My mother’s dream, it was her wedding. I designed all the flowers took it to the flower shop and it took them three times for them to make my flowers the way I wanted!
I picked out this beautiful Cinderella wedding dress couldn’t find a veil so I designed that and it was made.
I just signed all the girls dresses and my girlfriend’s mom made them all along with the mother-in-law and my mom Dress.
This was 1980 when I first discovered that I had visions and designed and I made it happen!
if you don’t understand brainwashing, you would never be able to understand a mother and daughter the situation I was in, “I was programmed“!
In saying that, me as a person, “always wanted to do, what was right“!
I never did drugs or drink. I always wanted to be hundred percent control over my body.
When I was designing my wedding dresses and the girls dresses and all the flowers I learned something from this!
When I finally picked out the right wedding dress and I stood in that big mirror and that girl was so beautiful that was looking at.
I learned that day, to separate me from her…